Before the fall
by Ark Shiranui
Summary: One day, Ark Royal cleans up the warehouse in the base when she stumbles upon an old diary hidden deep inside the warehouse. When she discovered who the owner was, she begun to read it in order to find even the slightest hint to the answer she is looking for. The story is mostly told in the perspective of Royal Sovereign.
1. Memoir

**Author:** This is a short story that takes place at least twelve years prior to Battlefield Angel's timeline. Of course Ark Royal reads it at the present timeline. It will switch back and forth between the present time around Ark Royal and the past time in Royal Sovereign's perspective.

I made this to answer some of the questions for the next story. Also, this story will give hint to what part of Tirpitz's past...that scares her till to the present.

* * *

Passing by the shelves in the warehouse, Ark Royal cleans up the clutters and removes the unnecessary equipment. She gathers the boxes and piles them up in one area, separating them.

"There's a lot of stuff in here"

She smiled faintly seeing old equipments she used before being replaced with more modern ones. Still, she still loves her Swordfish planes even if they are seen as obsolete.

"I used this on my first years in service"

She laughs as she puts down the old and unusable equipments on the ground. Ark Royal then climbs up a ladder to reach for another box when she saw something peaking behind a box. It looked like a book so she went to grab it.

"It's very dusty. How long has this thing been here?"

Ark Royal wipes off the dust on the cover. A single swipe and she saw a capital "M" written on it. She then wiped it even more and read the word "Memoir"

"Memoir? A diary?"

She wiped off the dust the book's back part and to her shock, she saw "R - 05" written on the bottom part.

"R - 05. That means..."

Ark Royal looked around before running away, taking the diary with her. About to enter the warehouse with a box, Vestal is confused to see why Ark Royal ran off in a rush. Ark Royal ran to her room and locked the door.

"R - 05. This means this belongs to Royal Sovereign"

She hesitated to read the private diary of an long gone comrade...who went insane at the present time.

"Royal Sovereign. Warspite's...knight..."

Reluctantly, she opened and saw a writing on the very first page.

 _I wrote everything I have seen and felt through my life as a guardian to her._

 _This is so I would have a reminder of who I used to be._

 _This madness is eating me away. That's why it was the right decision..._

 _...to record my experiences...back when I still have my full sanity in tact..._

"Sovereign..."

The handwriting is different from the one Ark Royal is used to. It looked like her hand is a bit shaking when writing her "last words".

"Knowing you...I'm sure you've written all of this for a reason. Perhaps the answer is here"

She flipped through the first log written by Royal Sovereign. The handwriting is much neater and legible compared to the first page.

* * *

 _Where should I begin?_

I started to write down everything underneath a tree on one sunny afternoon. The American and British destroyers are running around like playful children.

"Don't play too rough or you'll hurt yourselves. That means you, Javelin"

I passed through the destroyers running around and laughing. I continued to walk around in this peaceful afternoon.

"Hmm? Milady?"

On the way, I found Warspite, the mistress I've been serving even before we both entered in service.

"Are you in pain?"

I bent down, seeing as she could barely stand up. It's probably her leg injury from the last battle. She hasn't fully healed after all.

"Do not worry. I might have strained my leg again"

"Please do not move too much while you're injury is yet to full heal"

I worried. I always worry about her. I've been by her side for a long time. My loyalty to her is the same as ever.

"As a knight, it's my duty to assure the safety of my queen's well being"

She giggled. Whenever I talk formally, it makes her laugh. Probably because she doesn't want too much seriousness.

"..."

I gazed at her face, looking at her uniquely blue eyes, something that is hereditary in her family. Taken by the moment, I gently swept some strands of her hair that's messing the view of her face.

"Milady?"

She gazed at me oddly. As if she is spacing out while looking at me.

"Oh. I was in deep thought..."

Lady Warspite blushed as she looked away. I helped her stand up and we both walk together.

"Sovereign..."

"Yes?"

She called me as I am just about to refill the tea. I went to her side bringing a tray of freshly made afternoon snacks.

"Royal Oak had informed me of potential threat in the north"

"Oak?"

Royal Oak. One of my sister ships, but the one who I have the closest relationships, with Revenge being the next. She's a girl who likes to peak on dangerous business.

"Is she investigating again, lady Warspite?"

"She is. Apparently, she sets her attention to the Russian navy"

"Them. They're not someone one should provoke"

The Navy there are infamously known for being strict to their ship girls.

"My sister is just stubborn sometimes" I sighed

"She never backs down. Much like you"

Lady Warspite laughed. She knows me more than anyone, but I still don't like her teasing.

"He he he. Is that so...?"

Even though some people see her as someone that can be mysterious sometimes, I'm already used to it. Even before government agents came to the mansion and told us we are ship girls. Life may not be easy, but that's why I love it.

"..."

"That expression. I can tell you are very much worried about Royal Oak" She noticed

"Well...she is my sister. I just have...this horrible feeling"

"Sisterly instinct?"

I wryly laughed at that. I'm just really worried for Oak since she's digging information on somewhere dangerous.

"Sister ships instinct...I suppose"

"If it worries you that much, perhaps you should speak to Oak about it" She suggested

"Yes. I will do that"

Royal Oak does what she wants and gets in trouble most of the time because of it. Revenge would always scold her.

"While I worry about my sisters, your well being is what I always worry the most"

The tip of my gloved fingers gently touched her cheek which somehow made her blush.

"Your face is red? Are you unwell"

"N-no. I am fine"

I smiled seeing this side of her. It's quite adorable.

"It's only natural for a knight to worry about her queen"

"Sovereign..."

"I'm your servant, aren't I?"

She looked away while covering her face. She can be adorable sometimes.

"...?"

While I enjoyed the moment, Victorious came by looking all happy...and hops around like a child.

"You look quite happy, Ms. Victorious" It's very obvious

"While on a sortie, our fleet came across a Kriegsmarine fleet. I was so happy since my Tirpitz was there...but her sister was also there"

Either way, Ms. Victorious looks very happy so I should let her be. She just likes the German battleship Tirpitz so much. I haven't met this Tirpitz, but Ms. Warspite have told me a lot about her.

 **Later...**

I returned to my room and there I found Royal Oak sitting and reading something.

"Oak, where have you been? I've been looking for you all day"

"Sorry. I've been busy lately" She smiled

"It's about that again, isn't it?"

I sighed as I sat on my bed. She may be older than me, but I worry like an older sister.

"You don't have to worry about me that much, Sovereign. You an Revenge shouldn't worry that much"

"Why wouldn't I be worried? What you're doing is dangerous" I clenched my fists

"That's why I do it without involving anyone else"

"This isn't just a small matter, Oak"

Royal Oak looked at me, visibly feeling sorry. Now I feel sorry for her...damn it!

"Sovereign, that's the reason why I need to find out the truth. What I'm investigating involves ship girls like us"

"..."

"If I don't do this, who else will?"

"What if something bad happens to you? How would you think I will feel?"

I don't want to raise my voice at Royal Oak so I tried to be as calm as possible.

"...Just think about how I feel for once"

"Sovereign..."

"I'm going outside"

Before a fight between us starts, I left the room. We both don't want to argue with each other.

* * *

As Ark Royal is fixated in reading Royal Sovereign's diary, someone knocked on her door. She quickly hid the book inside the desk's drawer before opening the door.

"V-victorious, is there something you need?"

"Well I went to help you clean up the warehouse, but Vestal said you suddenly ran away"

"I just forgot to do something. That's all" Ark Royal made an excuse

Victorious is suspicious, but accepted her excuse anyway.

"Say...Victorious, how much do you anything about Royal Sovereign?"

Being asked a strange question, Victorious narrowed her eyes and gazed at Ark Royal.

"Why do you ask?"

"Well...I've just been thinking since Warspite won't tell much"

Again, Ark Royal lied. She met and fought with Royal Sovereign before being Arkhangelsk, but there are still mysteries yet to be solved.

"..."

With a deep sigh, Victorious entered the room and closed the door behind her. She sat on the chair and looked at Ark Royal.

"I just want to know what really happened to her"

Victorious took a deep breath, reluctant to say anything to Ark Royal.

"I don't even know where to start, but it started everything after Royal Oak's sinking"

"I remembered seeing her grieve..." Ark Royal lowered her head

"Ever since then, she wasn't in the condition to fight anymore. It looked like she lost the will to do so"

Victorious' tone became solemn and serious. Ark Royal can understand why.

"She was transferred to the north, hoping her emotional state would change. Ever since Russian navy commissioned her as Arkhangelsk...she changed"

"Changed?" Ark Royal sat on the bed

"She hasn't spoken to any of us ever since her transfer, but when she came back..."

"...She was completely different" Ark Royal continued

Victorious nodded at what she said. They both know what it meant.

"Ever since her change, she severed her feelings to all of us, especially towards Warspite"

"..."

"The long time loyal guardian turned against her own master all"

Ark Royal knows Sovereign had been by Warspite's side for a long time and not even her expected it would end like that.

"Anyway, not even knows the full truth. Not even Warspite, but...there might be someone who does"

As Victorious stands up, she tells there might be someone who knows the answer to her question.

"Who?!" Ark Royal is eager to know

"The admiral of the Maizuru naval district. Admiral Suveran Schwarze"

"Tirpitz?"

"She was with Arkhangelsk in Russia at that time. Besides, she's keeping a secret none of us knows"

Victorious leaves the room, waving her hand goodbye.

"Tirpitz...knows something? If not even Warspite knows about it, then she has a lot of explaining to do"

Ark Royal shakes her thoughts before opening the drawer and getting the diary she hid inside. She then flipped to a page.

* * *

One night, As I finished my duties for the whole day, I found Warspite walking around the base.

"Milady?" I wondered

"Sovereign? What are you doing outside at this hour?"

"I just returned from a sortie about half an hour ago. If anything, I should be the one to ask that"

She's acting a bit strange, then I noticed what's the reason behind her strange expression.

"Really now. You shouldn't strain yourself" I sighed

Her leg must be hurting again. She hasn't fully healed yet from the last battle yet she's overexerting herself.

"I just couldn't resist myself. My past life fought ever since the first war up until to the war next to that"

"..."

"Whenever I lay down, all I can feel is the battlefield. The flashes of the war wouldn't let me rest"

From the looks of it, her leg is really hurting so there's only one thing I should do.

"S-Sovereign?!"

I carried her with my arms supporting her back and legs. She's suddenly blushing.

"Do not force yourself all the time, lady Warspite"

"...?"

"You can always rely on me when you ever needed my help. I'm you're servant, aren't I?"

She didn't say anything. It's probably because she feels embarrassed being carried like a Princess. Our face are almost close to each other, but I don't mind.

"I made it my duty to protect you whenever you needed me. That includes your happiness and well being"

"You don't have to do these kind of things" She looked

"I just don't want to see get hurt or be in pain. I can't bear that, you know"

She looked at me for a while before she gently giggled, confusing me.

"Milady?"

"You worry too much about me, Sovereign"

"..." I smiled

"Well it's not bad to rely on my knight once in a while"

"Just say the word and I will fulfill it without question"

"Then how about you stay by my side for the night" She requested

"...as you wish, my queen"

The memories of the past sometimes gives her nightmares. She would mumble words and sweat coldly. As I carry her back to her room, she leaned her head against my chest. I can almost hear her breathing.

* * *

As Ark Royal flips a page, a part of a photo slips out in one of the pages. She pulled out the inserted photo.

"What's this?"

It's a photo of the old Home fleet. That was back when Arkhangelsk was still Royal Sovereign.

"What happened to you that made you change?"

Ark Royal sadly looks at the picture for a few minutes before inserting it back in the diary and closing the book diary itself.

"It all started...when you went to that country in the north"

Ark Royal keeps the diary hidden inside the drawer, not wanting anyone to know she is in possession of such thing.

"You wouldn't turn against Warspite...unless..."

She shakes her head before leaving her room, not wanting to jump to conclusions.


	2. Sister ships

**Author:** While I'm finishing this chapter my new one year old 'pupper' who I don't know what to name (probably _Akagi_ because she's a big eater or probably _Yuudachi_...because she wags her tail when I say "poi") kept whining whenever I leave her. So I had to use a laptop with a puppy sleeping on my lap.

Anyway the next chapter will take place on Scapa Flow. The chapter after that...will start revealing some things. I'm thinking whether I should add an "EXTRA" at the end.

* * *

Where _was it left off...?_

How long has it's been since I've started writing? A week? I have a hard time remembering. Anyway, I should continue recording what I'm experiencing. Who knows? It might come in handy one day.

"Those children..."

Beagle, Juno, and those other destroyer kids are playing rough again. Well they are still children despite being human reincarnations of sunken warships from the old war.

"To think I would be a ship girl myself"

Before joining the Royal navy, I was a personal attendant and bodyguard to a certain noble lady. I still kind of am. On some nights, I used to dream about the sea, hearing voices of countless men, explosions...cannon fires.

"Such days..."

During those days, even milady would wake up night, experiencing night terrors so I would sometimes stay by her side as she felt comfort knowing someone was there with her.

"What are you spacing out about?"

Royal Oak came by and sat near me. We watched the young ones play like they are just ordinary children.

"It's rare to see you away from Warspite"

"There's an existing term called personal space, dear sister"

"Ahahahaha. I just thought, you know. Since you're her bodyguard and all"

Bodyguard, huh. I'm so used to Warspite calling me her "knight" that the word "bodyguard" is a bit unusual to me now.

"By the way, you were in her room the other night. Is that some kind of occasional thing?" Royal Oak rubbed her chin

"I'm doing anything weird if that's what you're thinking" I sighed

"Oooooh..."

"I only stay by her side when she sleeps when I'm asked. If you're thinking about something out of the ordinary...don't"

"Ahahahaha. I was just...curious. I mean you don't even notice how Warspite looks at you lovingly"

"What?"

"Maybe you're denser than any male protagonists in a harem anime. You don't even notice Ark Royal's feelings-"

I gave her a light hand chop to the head to make her stop teasing me about unnecessary things. The two of us went silent for about two minutes.

"You're still worried, aren't you?" She asked

"Why wouldn't I be?"

The atmosphere became serious in almost in an instant.

"Sovereign, the nature of what I do is dangerous...but I just can't let it be"

"Why?"

"Because I can't let another one of us be their next victim!"

Royal Oak stood up and so did I. At this rate, we'll just end up arguing with each other.

"This is my job...to stop those kind of people from hurting ship girls like us"

"..."

"I don't want anymore of us to be hurt than we already are. I have to do something...before it's too late"

"Do you even think the possibility of you getting killed because what's you're doing?" I asked her

She stood there silently, as if she doesn't know what to answer to me.

"...I know that...the moment I accepted this job. I know the risks I take, Sovereign. You know I don't risk myself without a reason"

"That's the problem with you. You always take risks...even if it's unnecessary. Stop putting yourself in danger"

"..."

We both looked at each other, not saying a thing to each other. The silence only broke when Royal Oak took a deep sigh.

"I know I always make you and our other sisters worry about me"

"..."

"I don't want you to always worry about me. You need to worry about yourself too"

Oak tapped my shoulder. I can sense it in her voice she's feeling apologetic.

"Alright. I'll stop doing these kind of dangerous jobs, but I need to finish this one first"

"You promise?"

"I promise" She nodded

She took off a brooch pinned on her uniform and pinned it to mine.

"There. It's a symbol I'll keep my word"

Oak smiled and so did I. In the end, I agreed to let her finish her current job as she had promised she would stop after it.

* * *

Ark Royal smiled reading Royal Sovereign's journal. She flipped to the next page, but she got startled when someone knocked to her door.

"Ark Royal! Ark Royal!"

She panicked and quickly hid the journal inside the drawer. Ark Royal calmed herself and answered the door.

"Belfast?"

"Did you forget we have a sortie? Ajax is getting impatient"

"Ah! That's right"

Ark Royal forgot about that as she got indulged in reading an long gone comrade's journal. While sailing to their target area, Glorious went near her.

"Ark Royal, you've been acting a bit odd lately"

"Odd?" Ark Royal doesn't know what she means

"You've been spending a lot of time inside your room. Do you have a problem or something?"

"I don't have any problems"

Ark Royal denies she has any problems. She can't let anyone know about the existence of the journal that is currently in her possession...not just yet.

"By the way, I heard from Victorious...Warspite's admiral got badly hurt"

"Tir - I mean...what happened?"

"She said Arkhangelsk picked a fight there"

Glorious grunted, not liking the news she heard from Victorious regarding the situation with Maizuru naval district.

"It turned into a bloody mess when she provoked the admiral there"

"What happened after that?"

"The two fought of course. It only stopped because Warspite got in between"

Glorious laughed, but Ark Royal didn't.

"Boy that became a bloody mess. Arkhangels deserved it for picking a fight"

"What did they do to Arkhangelsk?"

"I think they're sending her back to Russia. Those Russians won't be happy their largest capital ship is beaten to a bloody pulp, but they can't complain since it was an act of self defense"

Ark Royal worried for both the barely alive Arkhangelsk and Maizuru naval district.

(Warspite pleaded to not kill Arkhangelsk. She still hasn't changed...)

Ark Royal took a deep breath as she isn't surprised to why Warspite pleaded to spare Arkhangelsk's life.

 **Later...**

After returning from the sortie, Ark Royal lies down on her bed to rest her aching hands and back. She turned her head towards the desk.

"I wonder..."

She took out the journal she hid inside the desk's drawer. She lied back on the bed with the journal looking at it as she stretched out her arms.

"Why was this inside the storage?"

It's a good question. Why was the journal hidden inside the warehouse for many years.

"Did you put it in there...or was it someone else?"

She doesn't whether 'Royal Sovereign' hid it in there or someone else did it. Either way, she opened the diary and started reading it.

* * *

Most days, I always liked it to walk around the naval base when I'm on off duty, but right now I need to deliver these reports to the admiral. The destroyers in this base are the energetic type, so they're always outdoors. While they're rowdy, they do have discipline when on a sortie.

"Sovereign! Sovereign!"

Crusader pulled my sleeve. She's one of the most energetic ones. She and her sisters all looked at me with hopeful eyes.

"W-what?"

"Play with us!" She asked

The C and D class destroyed kept pulling my hand. My gloves are going to slip off if they keep pulling me.

"Why don't you just ask someone else? Like Ark Royal or Baltimore"

They all pouted. They didn't take well when I rejected their invitation for a play time.

"..."

I don't mind playing with them, but I don't know how to handle children. Illustrious makes it looks so easy.

"I'm a bit busy right now, so I really can't play. Sorry, little ones"

They walked away, disappointed, but life isn't fair all the time. Besides, O have tasks I need to do before I can relax. I went to the admiral's office with the reports still in hand.

"Admiral, here are the post sortie reports"

I handed over the reports to the admiral of this base, admiral Isaac Hampton.

"Thank you" He smiled as he reads the reports

I looked at him for a few minutes. There's something I want to talk about with him, but I feel like it would be rude.

"What's wrong, Sovereign? Is there something you want to ask?"

He noticed I've been focusing my eyes on him. I briefly looked away from him when I got startled.

"It's nothing, admiral..."

"Ha ha ha. You're not good at lying. Kind of like Royal Oak" He joked

"..."

"Is there something you want to ask about your sister?"

Wow. He noticed what I had in mind just by looking at me.

"Oak told me how the two of you have been arguing lately. You're upset about what she has been doing, but Oak ignores it"

I never thought Royal Oak would talk our fights for the past few days.

"I get you're upset since you're worried for her. You know, Oak told me how she doesn't want you to worry about her, but doesn't know how to talk to you"

"Admiral..."

"What she's doing is under the higher up's orders, specifically the MI6 so I can't directly interfere with her even if I'm her admiral"

Admiral Isaac laid his back on his chair and looked at me with a worried face.

"She's investigating certain suspicious Russian and British individuals. She was assigned for it because it involves ship girls"

"I know that..." I sighed

"The thing is, a few officers and admirals in the Russian navy have been suspected to conduct illegal activities that violates ethical laws"

I didn't say anything. All I'm doing is listening to what the admiral is saying.

"While Russia is not the United Kingdom's jurisdiction, they took action when a Royal Navy light cruiser went missing a week after going to Russia"

I understand both the navy and certain officials secretly took action and carefully actions as to not violate the non aggression pact signed by all countries with naval power.

"Not all Russians are bad, but the government is cautious around such a superpower country" The admiral shrugged his shoulders

"Then again, their navy is something that you can't write home about"

"Ha ha ha. Well when it comes to navy, America, United Kingdom, and Japan are the world's three largest naval power"

The Germans come in fourth since their only aircraft carrier is incomplete and they only have four battleships in service. They outnumber the other navy's submarines with their countless U-boats though.

"Anyway, your sister is good at what she does. While I worry about her since she's one of my ship girls, all I can do is watch over so she won't put herself in bigger danger"

"The moment she accepted that task, the moment she knew she was taking a big risk" I told him

"Oak is a stubborn one. You can't force her to back down and turn away from what she's doing" He laughed

I know how stubborn Oak is and that's what worries me the most. Even if it will put her in danger, she won't stop until she reaches the end.

"Don't worry, Sovereign. I'll do what I can as an admiral to not put Royal Oak in harm's way"

"Thank you, admiral"

I trust his word on that since I know my admiral long enough to believe him. I smiled as I left the office.

 **The next day...**

While on the way on the office, I yawned and this made Royal Oak poke my cheek.

"You look awfully tired"

"That's because I am tired" I rubbed my eye

I had to sortie last night and that took till after midnight. That's why when I returned to our room, I immediately lied down and fell asleep.

"I'm not an all-nighter like you, Oak"

"Good thing you didn't sink or that would have been painful for me"

She said that in a serious manner. I know my sister ship very well and she doesn't joke about these kind of things.

"I'm not going to sink that easily, Oak...and you know why"

"You promised to be by her side to the very end. I know..." She smiled

"That's the promise I made to her on the day we first met...many years ago"

I could never forget it. That very day...I could never forget it.

"Ah. We're here"

I realized we're already in front of the office door. As we both entered, I saw Ark Royal, Warspite, Belfast, and other ship girls inside.

"Everyone's here? Good" The admiral nodded

As we entered and closed the door, the admiral arranged some papers.

"Our naval base have received a new order from the Admiralty"

The Admiralty. It's been a while since this base have been given a direct order.

"The order given to us is simple. That is to send a fleet to reinforce the forces at Scapa Flow in Orkney islands"

Scapa Flow? For some reason, my heard raced hearing the name of that anchorage. Probably because of historical reasons.

(Oak...?)

I can see sweat dripping down from Royal Oak. She both looks nervous and scared...for some reason.

"And all the ship girls present right now are the one you're going to send, right?" Ark Royal guessed

The admiral nodded, confirming it's true. Warspite looks very tensed. It's rare to see her like that.

"The orders are to send a large fleet there to prevent the increasing Abyssals there to take over our territory"

Knowing the situation there, it looks like we're all going to be posted there for a while. A month being the longest.

"While the Abyssals there are common types, I suspect they have one of their Princess class there"

Everyone looked at each other. We're all confused and puzzled at the same time.

"While I just suspect it, the possibility of a Princess class Abyssal leading the common Abyssals there isn't entirely impossible"

Oak swallowed her breath, making her nervousness visible. I wonder why Oak is suddenly acting odd.

"The officials orders also stated the fleet I chosen will depart two days from now at exactly 0800"

The meeting took about half an hour before we were dismissed. As Oak and I were about to exit the office, she looked uncomfortable.

"I have to go. I need...to do some things..."

Oak walked away quickly and didn't even let me ask her why. What's gotten into her?

"...?"

I tried to go after her, but I quickly lost her. She was in hurry. Oak is acting strange today.

"Sometimes I don't get her at all"

She can be carefree, cheerful, stubborn, serious, and among other things. Her changing behavior is what makes me wonder what's going on inside her head.


	3. Scapa Flow

**Author:** It feels...not very right. I will edit the last part in a few days to a week while I think of what lines to replace all of it. The last part needs re editing. Definitely needs editing.

* * *

Scapa Flow. One of the Royal navy's most important territories. It's because the islands protecting sheltering the waters is what makes it an ideal territory.

"Not a bad view..."

I stretched my back and enjoyed the view of the beach. Oak went off somewhere without telling me or anyone. The problem with her is that she does what she wants...and that makes me really worry about her.

"She's been awfully busy with her work lately"

It makes me wonder how she balances her duty as a ship girl and a spy for the MI6.

"She's putting herself into bigger danger with each missions of hers"

Perhaps I should talk this with the admiral. I just have a bad feeling about what Oak is doing.

(I really just have a bad feeling...)

I couldn't ignore this heavy feeling in my chest. As if something horrible is going to happen. I fastened my pace and head towards the admiral's office. I was about to knock, but I stopped midway when I heard Royal Oak.

"Things aren't look good in the north, admiral" It's Oak's voice

"How bad it became? What did you find out in your investigation?"

"I found incomplete evidence that Anton Boskonovich is performing inhumane experiments on humans and ship girls alike"

I listened carefully on their conversation, eavesdropping on the two. This feels wrong, but I want to know what they are talking about.

"It is said most of those experiments are proven fatal for ordinary humans so she he switched to individuals that can withstand such treatments" Oak continued to speak

"Ship girls..."

Royal Oak and the admiral went silent for a few seconds. I'm sure both of them are feeling a bit uncomfortable right now.

"The Royal navy light cruiser that disappeared seven months ago...might have been done by Boskonovich" I can hear restraint in Oak's voice

"Oak..."

"Exeter, who was also a felloe operative investigating the same case mysterious disappeared a month ago..."

Royal Oak sounded like she wanted to burst in anger, but she's restraining herself.

"I'm not hoping she's still alive. Knowing those kind of people, they would never let a spy live for long"

"You're dealing with a man with shady connections. You do know that, right, Oak?"

"Admiral, you tend to forget I'm already an MI6 agent before government agents came knocking at my door and told me I'm a ship girl"

Royal Oak, remembering a bit of her past before she became a ship girl. It kind of makes me reminds my past too.

"I cannot afford to let any innocent people and my fellow ship girls be harmed"

"..."

"That's why...I cannot back down from this mission. Those who are responsible...must pay"

"Oak, I just hope your desire for revenge won't get the best of you"

"You're like Sovereign, admiral. You worry too much"

"I am your admiral and you are my ship girl. It's only natural" admiral Hampton laughed

"Don't worry, admiral. I can't afford to be reckless as that will get me killed"

Her mood calmed down after a few minutes or so. Oak is calmer and more disciplined than me, but her anger can be scary sometimes.

"Admiral, I know at some point, they'll get to me. Operatives like me doesn't get to live a long life"

"Don't say that..." The admiral is worried

"It's true. People like me put my life on the line for the sake of my mission and the oath I take"

They went silent again. I wonder what's happening inside there.

"I don't want Royal Sovereign to be involved in any of this. I...promised her I would stop after this one"

"Royal Oak..."

"That's why, if something were to happen to me...don't let anything happen to any of my comrades, specially my sister Royal Sovereign"

"...I understand. I promise...because I am your admiral"

"Thank you"

I covered my mouth to not make a sound. I heard enough so I quietly left the scene.

Ark Royal stops reading the journal after learning about Royal Oak. She never thought her previous admiral knows something about Royal Oak's other "job".

"Scapa flow..."

Ark Royal knows all too well what happened at Scapa flow. She can't imagine what Royal Sovereign felt when the tragedy struck.

"Royal...Sovereign..."

She tightly clenches her fists, remembering how Royal Sovereign used to be sane. Her world cracked when she returned as Arkhangelsk, a Russian Navy battleship who became a single minded soldier with little restraint.

"..."

A bit upset of thinking about the past, Ark Royal closes the journal and leaves her room. As she walks down the hallway, she didn't pay attention to where she was going so she bumped to someone.

"A-admiral? I'm so sorry. I wasn't paying attention to my surroundings"

She immediately helped her admiral pick up the scattered documents.

"It's fine. It's fine" Her admiral laughed

The admiral then noticed Ark Royal's uneasy expression as she picks up the papers.

"Is there something wrong? You look down for some reason"

"This is nothing. Just thinking of some things"

Ark Royal quickly arranges the papers and prepares to leave.

"Wait!" Her admiral grabbed her wrist

"Admiral?"

"Let's have a talk"

The female admiral smiled and stopped her since something big is bothering Ark Royal.

 **Office...**

Inside the office, the admiral leaned back on her chair and tilted her head while her hand is rubbing her chin.

"Look. It's nothing. Really" Ark Royal insisted

"I don't believe you"

"It's just about Arkhangelsk..."

She looked away upon saying that. The admiral studied her for a while before deciding to speak.

"Arkhangelsk, huh. I heard she caused trouble in Japan"

"She wasn't always like that. She used to be...completely different" Ark Royal lowered her head

"From the sound of it, it seems you two are very close"

"Used to be. That's before she abandoned her sanity"

"I see..." The admiral took a deep breath

Ark Royal looked at her clenched fists resting on her lap, remembering Royal Sovereign before she became Arkhangelsk.

"Ark Royal, could it possibly be...you like her very much?"

"A-admiral?'

"I just guess judging how upset you are"

Ark Royal looker away for a brief moment, confirming the admiral's guess.

"She's a good friend to me. Someone I can talk about my feelings..."

"Oh. So you two used to be close"

"...but when she came back as Arkhangelsk...she was so different. It's like she's a completely different person..."

Ark Royal remembered very well when she saw how Arkhangelsk "lost her mind".

"It must be painful. To see someone you call a good friend...change into something monstrous"

"Yeah..."

"I don't really know what happened, but it looks like ever since going to Russia changed her"

"Maybe...that's what happened..."

Ark Royal has yet to find out what really caused Arkhangelsk spiraling down to insanity. She suspected Royal Oak's sinking is not what caused it.

 **Later...**

Returning to her room after doing a round of CAP with her air group, Ark Royal lied on her bed, sighing deeply.

"Now where was I..."

Ark Royal grabbed the journal resting on top of the desk and flipped the pages.

Today we're heading for a sortie, to intercept the enemy fleet said to be headed to a certain area.

"Oak!" I called her before I leave

"Sovereign, what's the matter?"

Oak is going on a sortie later too, but since I'm going first, I want to talk to her.

"Oak, I get it you're dedicated on your duty as a spy...and I can understand that. I know you want to do all of this for the sake of others, but I worry for your safety"

"Sovereign..."

"Even though I worry about you all the time and this causes arguments between us, but you are my sister ship"

I tapped her shoulder as I look right at her in the eyes.

"I believe you can accomplish all your missions safely. I want to believe...you won't recklessly put yourself in danger"

"What's all of this all of a sudden?" She looks confused

"Well I've just been thinking on how we tend to quarrel and argue. I don't want that kind of horrible relationship between us..."

I can't really tell Royal Oak I've eavesdropped on her conversation with the admiral the other day since she'll certainly get upset.

"Ha ha ha. I get that you worry too much like a kid, but I know you don't want anything bad happen to me. That's why...I can't afford to make a mistake in my mission. I don't want you to experience loss"

Oak briefly took off my cap to pat my head. She tends to treat me like a child sometimes.

"I'm not the type to die so easily, Sovereign. Just have a little faith in me, my precious sister"

"I do have faith in you. I just care too much about you"

"You're like the little sister I never had. Kind of cute ha ha ha"

"H-hey...!" I pouted

We looked at each other and laughed. As I leave, I waved my hand goodbye and she did the same.

"What's that matter?" Warspite asked

"It's nothing. It's just that my chest feels heavy..."

I have just have this bad feeling. I really can't exactly describe it, but it's a had feeling.

"What's bothering you?"

"I don't know, milady. It just feels like something bad is going to happen?"

"Don't side on the negative too much. It will get the best of you" She advised me

"You're right. I shouldn't worry myself because of some random feeling".

I laughed dryly and tried to ignore this strange and heavy feeling in my chest.

"You should focus on the battle ahead. Lack of focus is a fatal mistake you know"

Ark Royal wagged her finger and looked like she's lecturing me or something.

"You don't have to worry about me, you know" I jokingly laughed

"It's called a word of advice"

She said that, but she looked away. Ark Royal reminds me of a certain carrier sometimes. I can't exactly remember who...

"Detected the enemy fleet! 15km northeast" Defender yelled

"All ships, prepare for combat! Line ahead formation! We're going to intercept the enemy fleet!" Formidable ordered the whole fleet

* * *

Just as Ark Royal has all of her attention in reading the journal, someone knocks her door. Of course she quickly hides the journal and opens the door, acting as if everything's normal.

"Victorious? What is it?" Ark Royal asks calmly

"I've been knocking at your door for five minutes..."

Victorious narrows her eyes suspiciously, but still remained her calm composure. She can't let Victorious' suspicion of her grow.

"Is there something you're not telling? You've been awfully strange lately..."

"Glorious told me the same thing just this morning" Ark Royal sighed, clearly annoyed

"It's because you've been acting strange. I have a feeling...you're hiding something"

"I'm not hiding anything suspicious if that's what you're thinking"

Victorious is still suspicious at Ark Royal, who still remained calm and collected. The two aircraft carriers gazed at each other, not fazing...not one bit.

"You started acting strange last week. Maybe something to do with going to the warehouse?"

"The warehouse? I don't know what you're saying, but it has nothing to do with whatever you are suspicious at"

"..."

"If you're just here to suspect, you might as well go"

Victorious took a deep sigh after looking at Ark Royal for a few seconds. The former turned away and before she leaves, she speaks with Ark Royal.

"Sorry for disturbing you..."

Ark Royal knows Victorious well, so she she knows the latter is still suspicious of her. As long as she won't discover the journal, then it will remain a secret.

"I have to be more careful. Victorious had become very suspicious..."

She thought as she grabbed the journal and sat back on her bed. Ark Royal looked at the journal, remembering an old memory. It was a memory when she saw 'Royal Sovereign' writing on a "strange book" on several occasions. Ark Royal remembered seeing Sovereign smiling as she writes under a tree or sitting on a bench.

"Royal Sovereign..."

Ark Royal felt a pain in her chest, comparing how Arkhangelsk was once of her dear comrades. Quietly, she opens the diary and flips to the page she was reading.

* * *

Armored carrier Demon's fleet is proving to be difficult to deal with. They're making our fleet scatter. The Re class battleships torpedo and planes are a huge headache. I just want to wipe off their smug on their faces.

"Pesky ship girls! Grr!" Armored carrier Demon roared

She aimed and fired at her main guns at us. We really made this Abyssal mad at us.

"Are you still hanging, Ark Royal?" I jokingly asked

Ark Royal launched another wave of her bombers while I opened fire at the resilient Ru class battleships.

"My air group are excellent girls" She smirked

"Ha ha ha. Good for you"

I continued to open fire even if two of their heavy cruisers are focusing their fire at me. I'm a battleship. I can take on more damage than this even if I'm a really old model.

"Warspite!"

As I kept attacking, I noticed torpedo bombers dropping their loads and the torpedoes heading straight towards Warspite who's too busy fighting. I rushed to her side and slid to take the torpedo. Two torpedoes struck me, but I paid no mind to it.

"Sovereign, are you alright?"

"I-I'm fine. How about you, milady?" I stood up quickly

"I'm fine as well. You shouldn't have done something like that"

"You could have been seriously hurt or you could have sunk if I didn't do that" I smirked

I acted as if the damage was nothing even if it's the opposite. It did a number on me and caused moderate flooding. Good thing my damage control crew are quite reliable.

"It's a knight's duty to make sure nothing happens to her queen after all" I laughed

"You can be reckless at times"

Even while shooting at her enemies, it sounded like she wants to scold me, but doesn't want to do it now.

"Rest assured, my queen. I know when to act reckless and when not to"

She just smiled and shakes her head. Warspite is already used to this behavior of mine with the many years I've been with her. One by one, the Abyssals sunk.

"Screw this! I'm out of here!"

Armored carrier Demon noticed how her escorts are sinking one by one. Cowardly, she retreated while her escorts blocked us from chasing her.

"Three moderate damage, one heavy damage, and four light damage. Thankfully, no casualties"

Formidable sighed in relief, thankful none of us sunk.

"We may have sunk the escorts, but the flagship, Armored carrier Demon, managed to get away. Still, this is a tactical victory for us ship girls"

Tribal crossed her arms and pouted, definitely unsatisfied even if this is considered a victory.

"Hmm?"

Formidable pressed her ear, gasping and her eyes widened in surprise.

"What?!"

Our flagship seems very shock which makes me very concerned.

"What's wrong?" Ark Royal asked

"There's an emergency. An enemy fleet had been spotted near the base's territorial waters. The fleet who were on the way back to the naval base encountered them" Formidable reported

(Oak!)

"Everyone, we're returning to the base at top speed...right this instant!"

Without hesitation, Formidable and the rest of us sailed at top speed. My heart raced, worrying for Royal Oak.

(This feeling...)

I can't stop this heavy feeling crushing my chest. As my hand tightly clenched, I hoped for Royal Oak to be okay.

"I just hope..."

It took a while to return to the base. I quickly rushed to the fleet Royal Oak is a part of. They're all heavily damaged just by looking at them. I ran to Victorious, the flagship of their fleet.

"Victorious, where's Oak?!"

Among the wounded ship girls, Oak isn't one of them. They're all gathered, but I don't see her anywhere.

"..." She won't say anything

"Victorious, where's Royal Oak? Where's my sister?!"

I grabbed her collar and asked her one more time. Her sorrow filled eyes won't even look at me.

"Why...won't you say anything?!" I yelled

"...Sovereign. I'm sorry, but Oak is...Royal Oak is..."

She couldn't bring herself to say it. I already knew what it means, but I refused to accept it. I just couldn't accept it.

"No. No...no, no, no, no..."

"I'm sorry. I truly am..."

Even the other ship girls won't look at me. They couldn't look at me.

"This...can't be real. All of this...can't be real"

My knees fell on the ground as I felt my limbs weaken while my heart...broken. I couldn't stop the tears from bursting out.

"Oak has sunk. I'm very sorry for your loss..."

Admiral Hampton walked by and removed his cap. He has the same eyes as the other ship girls. Even Formidable and the rest of the fleet expressed the same emotion.

"How...how did it happen?"

"Victorious' fleet was on the way back to the base when they encountered an enemy fleet. Just as they entered coastal waters, they were ambushed by a submarine fleet let by Submarine Princess"

The admiral bent down and looked at me right in the eyes.

"We could barely fight back because we took too much damage. Heavily damaged, Oak was targeted by Submarine Princess...and sunk in one salvo" Victorious continued

"We don't know how an enemy submarine infiltrated the base, but if we could have detected in time...Oak could still be alive"

The admiral lowered his head as if it his fault even though it's not. No one is at fault...

"Oak...it just can't be. Why...why...just why?!"

I hit the ground repeatedly, grieving for the sister I lost. It happened so fast that I just can't take all these painful feelings at once. I can't stop them from overwhelming me. This is just too much to handle.

"Damn it! Damn it...Damn it!"

I continued to let out my agony while Warspite embrace me from behind. It's so quiet I could hear my own cries very clearly. It just hurts so much. I can't stand this pain. I want to end this pain! I want to end this grief and sorrow!

 _Oak. If only I was there with you..._

* * *

Ark Royal stopped reading after it really sounded Royal Sovereign was very devastated. The handwriting made it visible how Royal Sovereign was filled with grief and loss at that time.

"Back then...nothing comforted you. You were consumed by grief to the point you could no longer perform your duty as a ship girl"

Ark Royal read how Royal Sovereign could barely fight the Abyssals as losing Royal Oak affected her emotional state and her performance in battle.

"...?"

She noticed a second photo inserted in one of the pages. It's a picture of a smirking Royal Oak headlocking an annoyed Royal Sovereign in a playful manner with a U-boat photobombing in the background. Revenge is in the picture too, making a dual peace sign.

"You two were very close. Kind of like what happened with Bismarck at Norway...except she didn't lose her sanity"

As she is about to insert the picture right where she took it, Ark Royal decided to read the page first.

* * *

It's been a week yet I couldn't recover from the pain. I couldn't make it go away. I know I'm not acting myself. I know I couldn't fulfill my duties as a ship girl anymore. I've become a failure...

"Sovereign, you need to come out. You've locked up yourself for hours" Ark Royal kept knocking

"Go away!"

I slammed the door and angrily yelled. I don't want to talk to anyone right now. I just want to be left alone.

"It's been a week already. I know it still hurts you, but that doesn't mean you have to distance yourself from everyone"

"Why won't you just leave me alone?!"

I could barely eat and barely sleep. I feel like I'm killing myself slowly...

"Sovereign, You need to come out. The admiral has something to tell you" Warspite spoke

"..."

"It's very important. He wants to go at his office"

Reluctant at first, I opened the door and looked at Warspite and Ark Royal who looked very worried. If they're worried at me then it's pointless. With little motivation, Ark Royal lead me to the office. I entered with little expectation and saw the admiral. It looks like he's going to tell me bad news.

"Admiral. What is it?"

I'm in a pathetic state. What could possibly want to tell that he wants me to come to the office myself.

"The Royal navy and the Russian navy had a meeting. It was discussed there about the lend-lease act between the two navies"

"..."

"I'll make it short. It was agreed one the Royal navy's capital ship. It was agreed upon HMS Royal Sovereign were to be transferred to the Russian navy 72 hours from now"

"I'm not surprised"

It's probably because I became useless in their eyes, they decide to throw me away to the Russian navy. It's true though. I've become useless...

"Look. I see it as an opportunity to rebuild yourself. So you should to..."

"...I wish I can be as optimistic as you, admiral"

"Sovereign, I know you think the Royal navy is throwing you out, but it's now that way. Look...you just need to be in a different environment. It's a chance for you to recover"

"If only I could say that to myself" I lost hope

Before I leave the office, the admiral wanted to tell one more thing.

"When you are officially transferred to the Russian navy, they will change your name. See it as a new beginning"

"..."

I left the office without saying anything. I just left. On the way back to my room, I thought about my conversation with the admiral.

"Maybe it's for the best. To get away from all of this..."

I dryly laughed as I continued to walk away. I feel like I'm slowly losing my mind as grief and sorrow continued to eat me away.


	4. Life in the north

_A country in the north, Russia..._

Ark Royal read through how Royal Sovereign continued to let her own suffering consume her. It threw her emotional state into a state she could no longer perform her duties properly.

"You were hurt the most since you and Oak were close"

She read how grief got the best of Royal Sovereign.

"You refused the sympathy of others and distanced yourself. Even to Warspite..."

Ark Royal sat on her bed, still reading the journal. She already read halfway through it.

"I wish I could have known back then..."

In a way, Ark Royal felt like she should have done something to comfort Royal Sovereign. It's not her fault or anything.

"You distanced yourself because you needed to regain your composure"

Ark Royal expressed her thoughts after reading Royal Sovereign's perspective on the time she barely interacted with her fellow ship girls. She felt sympathy for her more than anything.

"...but what really turned you into a traitor?"

She continued to read the journal and she flipped the page to the part where Royal Sovereign is going to depart for Russia.

0700\. I'm already scheduled for departure. Before I leave the base and miss the country I was born into, Warspite and Ark Royal came to see me one last time.

"It looks this is the last time I'm going to be part of the Royal Navy"

I smiled at the two of them, not wanting them to see how sadness is slowly tearing me apart. In a way I feel bitter, not to my fellow ship girls, but for the Royal navy...

"Even so, you are still one of us. You're still a ship girl of the Royal navy" Ark Royal crossed her arms

I looked at Warspite whole looked like she wants to say something to me. O do want to say something to her, but I...just simply can't.

"Sovereign, I hope you can find strength to free yourself from grief"

Warspite walked towards me and gave me advice. She then leaned closer to me and hung something around my neck.

"A necklace?" I'm a but surprised

"Remember that necklace?"

"Ah. This..."

She hung a necklace around my neck. I then remembered the necklace was something she always wore when she was twelve. She dropped it in a river one time so I jumped on the river and dived to retrieve it.

"You jumped on a running river just to get it. You dove into danger just to get it back...so it's special to me"

Her soft and gentle hands touched my cheeks. There's something about her that gives me peace every time I would always feel her warmth.

"I'm giving it to you would always remember you're still part of the Royal navy" She told me

"It's also so you would never forget Warspite..." Ark Royal added

"Yeah. So I would never forget..."

This necklace. This will always remind me to never forget...the woman who I vowed to be protect. If only I could be by her side.

"Live not for whom you lost, but for whom you have in the present"

"Thank you...and goodbye"

My farewell is short. Well I'm not good at saying farewells anyway.

"Milady, whatever I may become...I will always be your knight"

"Sovereign..."

"That is something I won't let anyone take away from me"

I told Warspite what I have in mind before I leave. The other ship girls came to see me off as they wave goodbye. I'll always be a Royal Navy ship girl...even if I will fight under the flag of the Russian navy.

"Russia, huh..."

It's cold like they say. Compared to England, the weather here is different. I hear the winter here is worse than any other countries.

"So this is my naval base starting from now on..."

After a minute of looking at my surroundings, I head towards my naval base. The girls here dresses a bit differently. I guess it's expected for a different country with a different culture. Like Japanese destroyers wearing school uniforms.

"Hammer and sickle?"

As I make my way to the admiral's office, I notice some ship girls having a hammer and sickle insignia on their uniforms. the just shook my head and continued walking to the admiral's office, avoiding trivial distractions.

"Admiral"

I entered the office and saluted, greeting my admiral starting this day. He stood up and saluted before sitting back on his chair.

"So you must be Royal Sovereign, the British battleship handed over to the Russian navy"

"Yes, I'm the battleship that is going to serve under the flag of the Russian navy"

"From this day forward, you are the Russian battleship Arkhangelsk now"

Arkhangelsk. It is the name given to me the day I am sent to Russia. Other than me, I've heard there's an Italian battleship too.

"I am...Arkhangelsk. A battleship of the Russian navy"

I saluted at my admiral and just accepted my fate as former Royal navy ship girl handed over to the Russian navy.

"By the way, I heard you lost your sister almost a couple of weeks ago"

When the admiral mentioned my sister, I reacted. The mere mention of it suffocates my heart. I can't still move on from what happened.

"...she sunk at Scapa Flow. Torpedoed by a submarine...just as she was returning from a sortie...damaged"

"I see. Sorry for your loss"

Words cannot simply describe what and how I felt during that day. Nothing can ever change what happened. Royal Oak is gone and she's never coming back. I have to accept that...but I can't move on no matter what I do.

Ark Royal stopped reading after she had came to realize how Royal Sovereign can't find the strength to move on.

I spent the days gazing at the sky and wondering I'm given this such fate. The only thing keeping the loneliness from crushing me is the necklace Warspite gave me. I clutch to it every time I long for my homeland and comrades...

She also read how Royal Sovereign, now Arkhangelsk, is constantly homesick. Ark Royal reading her journal felt like she's beginning to understand what she felt.

"The more you long for home, the more you become depressed. Yet you didn't let it get the best of you"

She flipped the page hoping to find out what drove Arkhangelsk to the brink of madness. She stopped at a certain page when certain words caught her attention.

When a certain Russian battleship stepped out of the line, they replaced the admiral with a new one...

Ark Royal swallowed her breath, curious to know what happened and what would be the outcome.

I...prefer the old one. Because this one...is someone hard to accept as a commander. I'm certain he's the kind of admiral you don't want to be assigned to. I admit I feel resentment towards him.

The aircraft carrier focused her attention on that journal's entry.

I did my duty as I was told, but his superiors weren't satisfied enough. The Russian navy wanted to best both the Royal navy and the Kriegsmarine. His superiors couldn't accept how measly countries bested the proud Russian navy.

"What do you mean an enemy escaped?!"

"The Abyssal fled before the fleet could pursue. Forgive me, admiral..."

"Saying sorry won't cut it! How can you fail such an easy task? All you have to do is sink common Abyssals yet you let one measly pest get away!"

He hit the desk, letting his anger out. He has no right to be this angry. While a ship girl like me risk my life out there, he's here barking orders and blaming every single mistake on me. I truly feel resentment for this admiral...but I have no choice but to bear with it.

"It won't happen again"

"Don't just say, do it! You and your fleet were a failure!"

"No, sir. As flagship, I take full responsibility"

He slammed his desk, this time with more force. His superiors pressure is really stressing him out.

"I don't understand the need to surpass the Royal navy and the Kriegsmarine. Does it really matter who's superior?"

"Try telling that to those geezers..." At least he calmed down a bit

"Is it pride?"

"The Russian navy is becoming a laughing stock. The French made it worse by saying Russia couldn't hold it's own without those two country's help"

"..."

I've heard how the Royal navy and Kriegsmarine provided assistant to the Russian navy who has no choice but to accept it. I know Russians are proud warriors, but his superiors have quite an ego...unfortunately. I heard when the lonely Queen of the North protected the shipping lines against the Abyssals on her own in Norway, they were upset how their battleships couldn't do the same.

"...I understand"

Even so. That didn't end. I keep doing my tasks exactly how I was told...but the accomplishments weren't enough. He's always angry at how it's still not enough. How the Russian navy is incapable of matching the other navies.

"What's wrong with me...?"

I laughed at myself. I've gotten weaker ever since one of my sisters sunk. I'm close to my sisters as much I was close to Oak. Losing one of my sisters devastated me. Rev was upset too and didn't even for a whole day. When I kept thinking on how distracted I became, someone walked towards me.

"Are you okay...?"

It's a ship girl I never saw before. I've been here for a week yet I never came across this ship girl. The blonde ship girl with medium length hair and seemingly cold eyes, tilted her head.

"..."

I inspected the ship girl. There's an Iron cross on her uniform so I guess that means she's German. Other than that, she also wears a sleeveless coat, detached sleeves with Iron cross on both sides, and a peaked cap with pointed things on the side.

"Who...are you?" I asked

"I'm Tirpitz. A battleship from Germany"

Her name is Tirpitz. She's the younger sister of Bismarck. Victorious mentioned her sometimes.

"And you are...?"

"My name is Ro - I mean...it's Arkhangelsk"

She looked at me strangely. Why is she looking at me like that?

"Your face..." She looked at me

"Ah don't mind. It's nothing to worry about..."

When she asked me about my face, I just lied to her so she wouldn't worry or anything.

"Have you been crying?" She asked

"H-how..."

She leaned on a wall and slid down. I sat near her, wondering about what she wants to say.

"I know a sad person when I see one"

"I'm not sad though..." I spoke

"You're in denial of your feelings. You sound like my partner"

"I'm here to do my duty as a ship girl. I just keep fighting...no matter what my emotional state is"

"...Huh. It looks like we're a bit the same"

This German looks like she smiles without a care. No...in fact, her smile has little warmth it. She tries to smile, but there was little meaning to it.

"Why are you sad anyway?"

"I've became weaker ever since one of my sisters died. I became a failure..."

"Don't say that. You're not a failure, no one is. Arkhangelsk, you're only a failure if you keep thinking yourself as one"

She raised her voice, angry at how I degrade myself. I lost my confidence...and any sign of hope...unlike her.

"You look like the type who won't give up..."

"I would, but I always have my sister to support me. There's also Graf, Eugen, and Scarnhorst who I call my closest friends"

"Ha ha ha. Me too. I had people that are close to me" I laughed

I leaned on the wall and thought about the Royal navy. My old navy.

"There's Ark Royal, Victorious, Rodney, and the little ones back in my old base. Though, more than anyone...Warspite is the person most important to me"

"Warspite?!"

"You know her?"

When I mentioned Warspite, she reacted like she knows Warspite. I wonder if the two met.

"She trained me during my sea trials. You know. The training you have to complete before officially entering service"

"She did mention she trained several ship girls before" I remembered

The two of us laughed, as it's s coincidence both of us knew the same person.

"Why is Warspite important to you?"

"Words can't easily describe it, but she's someone very precious to me. I don't want to lose her because I won't be able to bear that pain"

I can't express my thoughts, but I know Warspite is very important to me. Losing Royal Oak is still painful, but if I were to lose Warspite...I'd lose my mind.

* * *

Remembering something, Ark Royal stopped for a while. She remembered how Arkhangelsk is still wearing the necklace Warspite gave to her twelve years ago.

"Strange..."

Even though Arkhangelsk said she no longer cares for Warspite and "abandon" her, she didn't remove the necklace.

"What if...you haven't fully lost your mind?"

Ark Royal thought that since she read how Royal Sovereign saw Warspite as someone very important to her.

"Maybe you wrote the reason here..."

Wishing to know more, Ark Royal hoped 'Arkhangelsk' wrote more of what she truly felt and thought.

* * *

Again and again. Whenever he would get angry, he would just keep yelling. According to his records, he was always strict to his trainees and doesn't tolerate failure. He was a harsh sergeant before who expected everyone to meet his standards.

"Why didn't you do it?!"

He raised his voice so much his veins were already popping out.

"...because what you ordered...is something I could never do" I replied

I replied with no hesitation and faced him, looking at him without fear. If he can't tolerate low standards, then I can't tolerate his thinking.

"I ordered you to continue the advance, but you retreated!"

"B-but...two of the destroyers were already heavily damaged. Advancing...means they're...at the risk of sinking..."

I defended the decision I made during the last battle. I would never sacrifice two good ships for one minor victory.

"In the battlefield, there's only one law! Even if you lose an arm or leg, you fight to the last breath!"

"Cut it out with that pride of yours!"

When I answered back, he was genuinely taken by shock. He expected his subordinates to be obedient, but I could no longer tolerate it

"I've had it. We all had it. If the fleet fails even if they do their job like their supposed to, then you're the problem"

"How dare you-!"

"I suggest you fucking straighten up or I'll make sure you'll never command this fleet ever again"

"Are you threatening me?!" His voice shook

"The Russian navy doesn't tolerate incompetent admirals. I'm merely warning you...admiral"

I slammed the desk and he sat back in his chair, extremely shocked when I retaliated. He remained speechless even after I have left the office.

I...just want to sleep...

Everything went blank. I couldn't remember what happened. I don't know how much time passed. When I woke up, I saw Tirpitz and some of the ships girls worryingly looking at me.

"Arkhangelsk..." One of them looked worried

"We're so sorry" Another did the same

"It's our fault!"

They looked like they're about to cry. What's wrong with them?

"Why are you idiots apologizing?"

"Even though the admiral ordered you to continue the advance, you disobeyed"

"You knew we would sink if we continued fighting so you ordered the fleet to retreat"

"I-if only we weren't heavily damaged, he wouldn't be mad at you. You wouldn't have to defend is"

The three of them started crying while I don't know how to feel. Tirpitz is just leaning her back on the wall with her arms crossed.

"I may be an obsolete battleship, but I can take scolding just like how I take shells to the face"

I gave them head pats so they would stop crying. I don't want them to think it's their fault while I took all the responsibility. I'm the flagship so it's my duty to take responsibility. After the three had left, I am left alone with Tirpitz.

"That was bold of you"

"It's better to be me than you and those other girls. They're still young. I don't want them to be traumatized"

I worry for those kids. I don't want their minds to turn in the wrong direction.

"Why did you retaliate?" She asked

"I should be asking you the same thing. I heard about how you straightened your partner"

I smirked, letting her know I'm aware about her and her partner Gangut who is infamous for his violent and rebellious nature.

"You're...so thoughtful of your partner"

"While she's stubborn, violent, and short tempered...she's a good person. She went through a lot of hell in her life...I can see it"

Her fist clenched the bed sheet, showing how she feels empathy for her partner. I wonder if Tirpitz herself went through a living hell of her own at some point of her life.

"Tirpitz..."

"You and Warspire have been with each other for a long time. I can tell how you fondly talk about her"

"Yeah. I've been with her even before joining the Royal navy..."

"Just like me and my sister"

"What?" I'm confused

"Bismarck is my biological sister. Not everyone outside the Kriegsmarine knows that"

"No wonder you look like her"

We laughed together and had a good conversation. Even if Tirpitz had left, I answered her question while I continued to stare at the nothingness. My still wounded hand from the last battle gently touched the pendant Warspite gave to me.

Warspite...forgive me...

* * *

Ark Royal stopped as she is curious about the strangely added words at the bottom of the page. The handwriting was different compared to the style used in writing the entry in same page. Those three words were less legible as if Arkhangelsk's hands was shaking when writing it.

"This is...strange..."

She suspected it was written some time after the entry was made. She just doesn't know when. Now at least Ark Royal knows Arkhangelsk and some ship girls including Tirpitz were being scoroed by the admiral that replaced the original one.

"Perhaps your mind broke when you've become stressed from continuous pressure..."

The aircraft carrier wondered since Arkhangelsk's entries during her time in Russia had a lot of indication she was being put under pressure. Also, Ark Royal discovered how Tirpitz was indeed with Arkhangelsk during her time in Russia and the two seems to know each other well.

"Still..."

Ark Royal is still puzzled and curious to know what those three words meant and what Akrhangelsk was referring whens she wrote "It wouldn't matter anymore when I'm already facing a death row...". While she thinks about what it means, she closes the journal and keep it back inside her desk's drawer.


	5. Desperate Fall

_Everyone falls...eventually..._

I couldn't move my body. How did I get in this state? The last time I remember, I was in the battle.

Arkhangelsk!

I was heavily damaged in the last battle. I think the fleet retreated shortly after that. Before I passed out, I remember my comrades shouting and panicking.

 _Get her to the repair docks quickly...!_

 _Not good. She suffered extensive injuries._

 _We have to take Arkhangelsk to the ICU!_

 _Hang in there, Arkhangelsk._

I wanted to look away from the ceiling lights, but I can't even move my body. It really hurts so much. I can't feel my left arm. I think my arm is beyond repair.

(It's so cold...)

My whole body is in so much pain. I can't really stop thinking about it. Where am I anyway? It's so quiet in here, but I don't like this silence. It's scaring me a bit. Being scared doesn't really matter when I'm barely alive. My body might as well die any moment now.

"Sir, there's nothing that can be done. Not even the repair ships can fix"

"Under normal circumstances, there's no way to save her"

"Then-"

"...but there's something else we can try"

"Something else?"

"I made a deal with someone, a shady one at that. We have to try it"

"Will it work?"

"It has to work. We can't lose another ship again"

That voice. It was the voice of the admiral who replaced the previous one after the latter is called by the higher ups. Ever since then, I never heard anything about that scolding admiral. Kirov said he was sent to the firing squad.

"War...spite..."

I weakly muttered her name. She's the only I could think of now. She's probably the only one making me cling to my fading life. It's beginning to feel so cold. I can hear the abyss inside my head. It's calling me...it's calling another part of me.

"That woman is awfully suspicious. She has Abyssal technology in possession"

"I don't have much of a choice. Desperate times calls for desperate measures"

"What if it doesn't work? What if it worsens things?"

"All we can do is hope this will work...and doesn't go horribly"

I can hear footsteps of two people approaching to where my mostly numb body is laying. I feel so tired. My eyes wants to shut close and go to sleep.

"Don't worry, Arkhangelsk. Everything will be better when you wake up"

"Ad...miral..."

"This has to work..."

Before I tried to say something again, my body urges me to fall asleep. I couldn't fight the fatigue anymore so the last strength of my consciousness surrendered to the alluring call of the abyss.

* * *

As Ark Royal turns the page, she noticed something. It seems there's a skip. A page is missing.

"What?"

She noticed something. Her fingers gently touched the page. There are signs a page has been torn off...but who tore it off.

"No. No, no, no...!"

Ark Royal felt somewhat frustrated and angry how what could possibly be the most important page has been torn off. In a fit of fury, she raises her arm and prepares to throw the journal.

"..."

She changed her mind and lowered her arm. She read the journal because she wanted to know the truth about Arkhangelsk, but the answers she's seeking...are far away now.

"Damn it! Just when I was so close to finding out..."

Taking a deep sigh, she lied down on the bed, feeling like she lost hope.

"Who tore the page? Was it you...Sovereign?"

Ark Royal raised the book and saw something slipping out of the journal. She sat back on the bed and slowly pulled out the folded piece of paper.

"You...just what are you...up to, Sovereign?"

Upon reading the words in the paper, Ark Royal has mixed feelings for it. When she learned the letter Royal Sovereign wrote, she sighed and lied back down.

"Sovereign..."

The memories of the old days when the rogue battleship Arkhangelsk was still the sane and friendly Royal Sovereign. Even though the important page has been torn off, Ark Royal prepares to read again.

* * *

I feel so different. My head hurts...my arm hurts...my back hurts. In fact every single part of my body hurts. I couldn't stop screaming from this unbearable pain. I smashed my head repeatedly on the wall so many times...I feel like my skull is about to break.

"Aaaaaaaaahh!"

I just keep screaming as my whole body won't stop hurting. As I scream while I'm still bound by chains, I heard my admiral speaking to someone from the outside of the four corners I am trapped in.

"The result was not what I expected..."

He seems surprised and unhappy at the same time about something. Ever since they brought me to that dark room, I felt so different. It was like I was a completely different person.

"Is this really how it's supposed to turn out?" The admiral sounded like he can't accept something

"I did as what you asked and that is to save her. Or at least to stop her from dying"

"You turned her into one of them!"

"Not completely. It was a little bit of this and that and voila an artificial-"

"Don't even say it! This is not what we talked about"

"Funny. I clearly remembering to save her no matter what the cost. You didn't really specify what method not to use"

I can hear the admiral grunting from the outside of this prison like room. She was talking to a woman whose voice I felt like I heard in the battlefield.

"You should be grateful one of your precious ships isn't six feet under"

"How would I be grateful when you messed her up!"

"Your shipgirl can still be a shipgirl. There's no problem as long as she can fight, right?"

"That's true...but the change is too drastic"

What are they fighting about, I wonder. For some reason I can sense the presence of whoever the admiral is talking to. It's like a presence I know...or a bit familiar.

"Grr! Screw this!"

The admiral yelled and barged inside the room I was chained in. What with that sorry look of his? It's like he pitied me. For some reason, I don't like how his face felt "sorry" for me.

"Even...even if she looks normal on the outside..."

"Your superiors and shipgirls won't even notice. Only an Abyssal and special shipgirls can notice"

"It's still not the same!" He just couldn't accept it

"You complain so much when you literally said you don't care what method to use"

The admiral keeps shouting at the woman and the latter did the same. They keep shouting and shouting, their noise is making me lose my temper for some reason.

"Grr...!"

I faintly growled. There's this buzzing and static inside my head. I can't think straight and my vision is getting dark.

"Arkhangelsk?"

"It...hurts. It hurts...so much...!"

I heard my voice changed, but I don't really care about it. Right now I feel like I'm being stabbed repeatedly all over my body. It hurts so much all kinds of pain are mixing up.

"It hurts! Aaaarrrrgh!"

What happened to me? What did they do to me?! I can't bear this pain another minute.

"Kill...I want to kill...shipgirls...humans...!"

The last thing I remembered is the woman laughing as if she was satisfied then I saw the admiral backing away. There was great horror in his eyes. He was afraid...of me.

"Never forgive...I'll never forgive...shipgirls...humans!"

Everything faded to black after that. All I remember is a scream and the sound of something being torn apart. After I snapped my chains and broke free, everything went black. The last thing I sensed is the metallic taste in my mouth.

I hope you can forgive me some day...because I have to...break my promise to you...

* * *

Ark Royal couldn't continue reading as she threw the journal on the wall.

"How could they...do such thing to you?"

She shook in anger, unable to forgive the unknown person that made her rebel against her own comrades. Controlling her emotions, Ark Royal took several deep breaths and retrieved the journal she threw.

"Hmm?"

She flipped the pages until to the last page. On the last page are words written in a short poem like manner.

 _Sometimes...I lose sight of who I was before they did this to me..._

 _Maybe this monstrous form is the real me after all..._

 _But even underneath this ugly shell...something inside me etched..._

 _Something that I couldn't forget in the midst of this inversion..._

 _I have someone to live for. Someone who I wanted to protect the most..._

 _She's the reason why I still have my sanity and my real self in tact..._

 _That's why...I don't want to lose her...because I love her..._

Ark Royal calmed down after reading those words. She may not fully understand what's inside Royal Sovereign/Arkhangelsk's heart...but she does know she will never throw away her loyalty and betray the person she loved the most.

"You idiot..."

Ark Royal shed tears with mixed feelings of both sadness and joy as she looked the last words written in the journal.

"..."

She wiped away her tears and closed the journal. She doesn't say anything as sh clenches her fists and continues to shed tears. As Ark Royal keeps the journal inside her luggage.

"Three more days...until I go to Japan..."

After she closes her luggage and mutter things under her breath, little does she know, Victorious, who is just outside her door, was about to knocked...but pulled her hand away.

"I guess I'll let her find out for herself. She'll get angry if I spill out what I know to Ark Royal"

The Illustrious class aircraft carrier exhaled as she leaves the premises before Ark Royal or anyone notices her presence.

This real game will begin soon. Right, Sovereign?

* * *

 **UNKNOWN EXTRA**

The war. How long since the war started? How long has the war been going? It's been more than thirty years already.

"How did this war started?"

A lot of people wondered about it. The war started when Abyssals came to be in the world. During the early days, the Abyssals are seen as mysterious beings that no one can explain by humans. They were enigmatic beings. Some feared them, but some viewed them with curiosity. At first they were elusive and neutral; They don't attack unless attacked. They were just unknown beings inhabiting the world's oceans.

"Then...everything just changed"

When "the first Abyssal" begun attacking humans, so did the rest of her brethren. That was when the war between humanity and Abyssals. Humanity's modern day naval power proved to be inferior compared to the Abyssal fleet, who despite equipped with armaments from the past, they possess tremendous firepower. What took down humanity are the 'higher' Abyssals, the ones who possess humanoid forms and intellect, capable of speech.

"Princesses and Demons..."

That's what humanity referred them. They are divided into several classes: Demon, Princess, War Demon, Water Princess, Water Demon, Water Princess, and the highest form...Abyssal Princess. It was those Demon and Princess class which led fleets of common Abyssals, crushing humanity's navies. Above them stood the commander who almost drove humanity to their defeat...

"Central Princess..."

First appearing in Hawaii, Central Princess, a mysterious Abyssal, were engaged both by the Japanese and the Americans. Both navies proved to be no match for her as she decimated their destroyers and shred their carriers. She stood above all Abyssals, her command...absolute to the rest of the Abyssals. Led by a Princess possessing the most unprecedented firepower and durable armor, the Abyssal fleet succeeded in driving humanity out of the ocean in a matter of two years.

That's when a glimpse of hope arrived..."

During a fierce battle, just as every warship in sight had sunk...she appeared.

"The first shipgirl"

Much like Abyssals, she is equipped with warship armaments from the previous war. A female figure stood on the water surface, facing the Central Princess in one on one fight. Survivors from sunken warships witnessed how the two fiercely fought while they continue to float. To them it was the most unforgettable battle they have seen. Shell to shell, the two ships exchanged cannon fire for hours, neither refusing to fall down. After hours of exchanging fire and expending their ammunition, it was said, it was the only time the Central Princess fled, defeated by an adversary possessing power equal to hers.

Who are you?

That's what the survivors asked as the woman approached them. According to their experience, the woman smiled at them and simply replied.

"I am a shipgirl..."

Without ever saying her name, the woman turned away and as she was about to leave, she spoke to the survivors one more time. It was the first and last time "the first shipgirl" was ever seen. She mysteriously disappeared ever since then.

"There are more like me. Find them all...and retake the peaceful seas"

They didn't understand at first, but humanity discovered there were "more of her". More shipgirls...and they lie within ordinary humans. Those shipgirls can only be awakened by wielding their respective rigging. In a matter of three years, more than a hundred shipgirls were gathered, forming humanity's naval power against the Abyssal fleet.

"It was when the war between shipgirls and Abyssals begun"

Humanity was at the brink of surrendering to the Abyssals, but the existence of the "first shipgirl" gave them hope. Those hope are in the form of shipgirls. Ever since then, humanity stood a chance against Abyssals. Twenty years ever since the war, shipgirls slowly stood on equal footing against Abyssals. For the next ten years, humanity slowly rebuilt their broken economy ever since the war broke out.

Still. The war will never end as long as the cycle that holds both shipgirls and Abyssals...still exists...

That was the end of the known history of how the current war begun. Even though thirty years is a long time for human beings, to shipgirls, how much time doesn't matter...as their bodies no longer follow the concept of time and aging.

"Woooaaah! That was an amazing story, admiral!" Kawakaze's eyes sparkled

"Mutsuki learned a lot, nyashi!"

"Poi!"

"Inazuma too, nanodesu!"

Destroyers of various classes all looked in awe, amazed at the admiral's story about the history of the war.

"Tell us another story!" Ikazuchi tugged her sleeve

"Admiral, Yamakaze wants to hear another story" Yamakaze did the same, but on her other sleeve

As much as the admiral, Tirpitz, wants to grant their request, there are a lot of things to do today.

"Maybe next time. I have work to do and you girls have also work to do"

"Aaaaaaw" They're all disppointed

"I'll tell you guys another story next time. I promise"

"Okaaaay~"

The admiral raised her hand and promised with a sincere smile. Knowing their admiral, the destroyers believed the promise.

"Now go back to your duties. There's going to be an operation soon"

They all dispersed, returning to their duties, expeditions and sorties. As everyone left, someone walked by as she is planning to leave/

"You're surprisingly good with children, admiral" It's Yamato

"During my early days as an admiral, most of the shipgirls I handled are small ships. So I guess I'm used to handling children. You should know that since you're one of the first"

Since Yamato is one of the first shipgirls in the base, Tirpitz thought Yamat should have known that by now.

"Even though this is the story of the war, there are things that aren't known to most humans"

"Admiral?" Yamato is confused

"Everyone thinks wiping out the Abyssal fleet is the way for us to gain victory..." Tirpitz looked at the book

She then looked at Yamato who guessed what she is about to say.

"But the truth is, as long as the source of the cycle that binds us still exists...we can never truly win this war"

Tirpitz tipped off her cap, unhappy at the mere truth of it. Yamato is too, albeit just less than Tirpitz.

"This endless war will never truly end...as long as that mysterious power continues to exist. That's the truth of this world...Yamato"

Tirpitz walked away, reminding Yamato about the bitter truth about the current war between shipgirls and Abyssals.


End file.
